Week Seven, Saturday - Eat, Sleep, Dream Running

Running is keeping me up at night. I'm not complaining, but I am fascinated. I don't remember the last time I loved something so much, wanted to do something so much, craved something so much that I couldn't sleep. A bit of background, I could sleep through anything. I can, and have, slept through hurricanes, tornados and earthquakes. I can sleep the day before a big event. I can sleep when grieving, when brilliantly happy, when bouncing and excited. I love to sleep.

But I must equally love to run. The more I run, frequency, distance, speed, the more I wake myself up. I dream of running. I wake up wondering how soon I can go do it. Logically, I tell myself to go back to sleep, but at that point I'm thinking of the cardinal I saw on my last run, the way sweat slicks on my forehead inside, the beautiful quiet headspace I find when I hit that perfect place right after 10 and somewhere before 23 minutes. I wake up in the morning, not at all frustrated at having been woken up throughout the night, eager to run again. Even if it's a rest day, even if something hurts. In the middle of the night, I wake up and wonder if the treadmill would wake D. Sometime before dawn, I wake up and wonder where a good, safe place to run is in our neighborhood. I wonder if I could see which birds are chirping, I wonder how quickly I can lace up my shoes.

I am constantly thinking of running. When I catalogue my aches each day (today: my right calf, both shins, my left thigh near the top) I wonder how soon until I can stretch, run, rest, repeat. At work, I wish I were out. Not so I can see a new movie, enjoy the sunshine, visit a museum, escape tedium, but so that I can run. I forget how awkward I feel outside. It doesn't even occur to me that the aches might slow me down. I have to fight the urge to run everyday because I'm afraid if I do, I might hurt myself or get bored. And I know the pace right now is still good. But I've never woken myself dreaming of anything like this before. It's amazing.