More than a year

I haven't updated in more than a year. In fact, I didn't plan to post again. I found the expectation to keep up overwhelming, especially in light of a year filled with not running. So I'll be starting over. The shin splints and sore foot are gone (you'd think a year of rest would do it) but I feel like I'm really starting from scratch. I won't be working shift work anymore which helps too.

In case you're wondering, in case you're actually still checking in, I was on a deck that collapsed last September. I was in a cast for the better part of the fall and winter and have only just recently been able to go down the stairs in a relatively normal way. It may be just walking for awhile, but hopefully it will eventually be running. Wish me luck.

Week 14, Friday - New York

I've been in New York this week walking all over the city. The skyline was amazing. I haven't really explored the city since I was 17, making only one visit (to Brooklyn) since. We did a number of touristy things (the top of the Empire State Building at dusk), a number of obligatory things (5th Avenue, World Trade Center site) and a few odd things (sea lion feeding in Central Park, the whispering arches in Grand Central). Although we spent a good part of one day on the subway jaunting from destination to destination on an unlimited pass, we still did large chunks of walking while shopping, getting to subway stops and in and around the city. My feet felt like I walked all over Manhattan in bare feet on glass by the end of the first day. I had great, comfortable shoes on and good socks (no blisters!) but they still hurt a day later. I'm fairly certain from the needling pain in one arch near my heel that it's plantar fasciitis. It's much worse right after getting out of bed in the morning - bad enough so that I can't walk at first. I've had a similar pain in this arch before and it gets better with running, but I can't even imagine running with this pain. In the meantime, I'm popping ibuprofin and keeping it up. Massage seems to help. I really enjoyed New York, though. Sore tootsies or not.

Week 13, Saturday - Well, thank goodness!

I'm not alone!

It's nice to hear you all are struggling with the heat/humidity too! Well, not nice. But, you know what I mean. I gave the track another go this morning at 8am (instead of at 6pm at 90 degrees). It was just about 80 this morning when I got there and I found that wasn't such an uncomfortable temperature to run in. As before, I found my heartbeat went up and stayed up much quicker than on the treadmill. I'm really struggling with running continually outside. I'm not sure if it's the inexperience (I'm sure a large part of it is) or laziness (which I hate to think can thwart me even when I'm watching out for it) or fear of making something hurt (though that doesn't stop me on the treadmill). So, I focused on just keeping my heart rate in range though for thirty minutes, by which point it was a whole 5 degrees hotter and my calf was revolting.

No really, revolting. There's some sort of weird golf ball sized pain in the back inside of my right calf. I'd howl here for emphasis, but I'm sure you all have had a similar pain somewhere. I can't seem to find a good stretch for that particular stretch of muscle, so I've stretched everything around it and am hoping for the best. Thing is, it mostly doesn't hurt when I'm not running, so I'm not sure if it's gone away or not. This has provided me with hours of muddling this week.
Well, it was a slow week.

Here's to you, and your sweat and unexplained calf pain. Thanks for making me feel not so alone.

Week 13, Friday - Cotton Socks

Cotton actually does cause blisters. And here I've been with my pristine heels scoffing all this time.
But no, actually, my substitute pair of cotton socks stealthily caressed my heels into two raging blisters last time I ran. And I didn't notice. Oh no, not until I accidentally bumped my heels back into the legs of my desk chair. It's surprising that I managed to notice any popping, oozing feeling at all through the pain.

Hi-tech fabrics, here I come.

Week 13, Sunday - Oh, the Heat!

I seem to be doing less moaning and lying about and more moving, which makes me feel like whatever slump grabbed me and shook me around last week is over. D and I went to run on the track yesterday afternoon. It was the first really hot day in northern Virginia. We've been enjoying a long string of mid-sixty (and lower) days, only fair I suppose, since it was still 79 in late January. But yesterday, we broke out of our rut and blossomed into fully humid, sunny June. I didn't meet my May goal for outside miles (or frequency) so I doubt I was up to my goal of two miles on the track yesterday. As it happened, I was right - the heat was smothering and my body wilted and gave up much sooner than I would have liked. The positive? I ran nearly all of a mile and walked another half mile. Otherwise, it was only a mile, only a little, not as fast or as hard as I would have liked.

On the other hand, my heart rate stayed comfortably in the aerobic zone the entire time (blame it on the heat) and it was a solid 40 minutes of activity all told. So, I'm out of shape (obviously) but I had a wonderful time and I know it'll be easier next time. One, because I won't be going at 5 when it's still blazingly sunny and 85 outside and two, because I've done it once already.

Yes, I drank lots of water. I'm good about that.

W5, R30, W5, W5 - 1.5m/45min

Week 12, Friday - Sweat

I love to sweat. Love it. I love the feeling of slick skin and the pooling around my eyebrows. I love to look down at my breasts and see tiny beads of sweat popping out. I love reaching to wipe the side of my temple and feeling the squash of liquid against my hand. I love the cool feeling of water sluicing over my hot skin. I love the taste of salty sweat and sweet water combining at the corners of my mouth. A good sweat is the only reward I need for a run. It makes up for the sore muscles, the achy feet, the awful feelings that keep me from running in the first place. I'm glad it's summer so that I'm guaranteed a good sweat, even if it's just a quick, fast workout like today.

I ran 30 minutes straight at 1.5 incline which felt incredibly easy at the pace I was going. I tried to pick it up a little in the middle. Frankly, I felt like I was plodding, going too slow, tempting boredom. But the rhythm of my steps and the music allowed me to zone out like I can't do outside and the time just flew by. I sometimes forget how much I love running between runs. I love it as much as I love the sweat that follows.

W5 - 3.5, R30 - 4.0/4.3, W5 - 3.5 - 2.58m(2m running)/1.5 inc.

Week 12, Thursday - A Walk

D. and I went for a walk after dinner last night. My general malaise hasn't lifted and I was still battling a headache, but we went anyway. We walked over to the h.s. track so that she could feel the squishiness. It's wonderful, the track. We walked a mile at a fairly brisk pace and then headed back home. In all, I think it was a very good idea. We picked fresh honeysuckle to eat, talked and watched the dark grey clouds go black. A much better choice than a night of television.

Week 12, Thursday - Health

I have never been as well as I have been this year. I haven't caught any major colds or illness since late last summer. I think that's pretty remarkable considering the shared phones, desks, keyboards and crazy hours and poor sleep. In the past several weeks though, I've been contending with morning migraines and a lingering sense of depression. I hate to admit that. Something inside me insists that if I were doing everything right - doing everything enough, not too much, doing it well, consistently - I wouldn't feel like this. And, admitting that I'm not doing something right means (to me) that I'm not working hard enough to fix it, which makes me feel lazy (at best) and negligent (at worst), and I end up feeling like I don't have a right to complain or wish I felt better or address feeling depressed directly because it's my fault I feel this way to begin with.

I suppose my wake up call came this morning when I googled morning headaches. Nearly universally, websites blamed depression or high blood pressure. It never would have occurred to me to attribute my headaches to depression. High blood pressure is a family thing, a weight thing and it wouldn't surprise me if that were a factor. That just means more running, more weight loss and, if it doesn't get better, a trip to the doctor. On the other hand, I just don't have the tools for depression. I can eat right but I'm just not that hungry. I can get enough sunlight, or run, or get fresh air but doing any of that makes my already tears-to-my-eyes headache pound. I can sleep but I'm getting enough sleep. I've got prescription migraine killers, but I can't take them every day and, if I did, I could be certain part of my morning headaches were caffeine/analgesic withdrawal.

Where does that leave me? Without enough exercise, with a pounding head and just barely enough resolve to not drink caffeine, not take anything for my head, not blame myself any further for feeling glum, and to take a walk. That's too bad, but sooner or later something has got to work.